Hallelujah
by MerlinsStableGirl
Summary: Merlin went missing for two days and can't remember what happened. Now he's not acting like himself. Can Arthur and co. help him back? Dark!Merlin makes an appearance. Modern AU and Slash. Give it a chance, yeah?
1. Chapter 1

_ a/n: Hey guys! So this is my first fic EVER and I am totally nervous and don't have a beta and really have no idea if this is going to work. So I already would like to thank you for giving it a chance. It is loosely (and I mean loosely) based on the song Hallelujah by Jeff Buckley. _**Warnings: **_This fic is going to be dark because I am, apparently, a sadist who likes to torture my characters a little before giving them a happy ending. Also, SLASH. I will never write anything else, if I ever write again. Anyway, here goes:_

Arthur probably should have realized what was going on months ago. That time Merlin sauntered though their door after having been missing for two days with no idea of what happened. Arthur had been worried beyond belief, though he wouldn't admit it to anyone, and hadn't let Merlin out of his sight for a week, going as far as bringing his own work to Merlin's office during the day. It was only after a completely lost Gaius gave Merlin a perfectly clean bill of health, no leads had been found, and the boy finally begged Arthur to leave him alone for a little while that Arthur let things go back to normal. And if Merlin seemed a bit off, well, that was only to be expected. Anyone would feel disoriented after losing two whole days of their life without any clue of what had happened.

But then the arguments started. It was over tiny, immensely trivial things, like the way Arthur tied his shoes or would sigh at some bad news about the stock market. Things that he had done practically his whole life and yet Merlin was treating them like they were personal attacks. The blonde was almost at his breaking point when Merlin threw the final curveball.

"Fine Merlin! I'll fold my socks before I put them in the laundry next time. Although, I don't see what the problem is now, you've never cared before."

"Sorry Arthur. Didn't realize it was such a problem for you to do something so small to make my life a little easier. I mean…whatever, I bet _Gwen_ probably doesn't ask you to actually do stuff for _her._" Merlin bit back.

"No, Merlin it's not…" Arthur sighed defeated. He just didn't know what to do anymore. Everything he was doing was wrong and then… "Wait! What? What does Guinevere have to do with any of this?" He asked as Merlin's final statement sunk in.

"What does Gwen…? Did you think I wouldn't figure it out? I mean, come on Arthur! I know you think I'm an idiot but even you can't think I'm that stupid! She's over here all the bloody time. And you didn't think I wouldn't figure out what was going on at work did you?"

"She's over here all the time because of you! She's worried about you! We all are!" Where the hell all of this was coming from, Arthur had no idea. He had never even thought of Gwen like that. "And Guinevere works for Morgana. You know that. I barely ever see her at work. And besides, those two are together. I would never hurt Morgana like that." _Or you, _he added silently.

"So you've thought about it then? But what? Didn't have the balls to face up to Morgana? And why the hell is everyone worried about me? I'm fine!" Merlin was shaking from finally letting out all his pent-up anger.

"Yeah, that's obvious." Arthur snapped, but immediately regretted it. "No, Merlin, I'm sorry, I didn't mean that. And we are worried about you because, in case you have forgotten, it's not exactly normal for someone to just go missing for two days and have no recollection of what happened. But, anyway, where is all of this coming from? If you've thought that I was cheating on you, Or," he continued as Merlin as about to say something "_thinking_ about it, then why didn't you say something. Merlin, I love you. I don't want anyone _but_ you."

Merlin bowed his head, his stance portraying the epitome of defeat. "I just can't do this anymore Arthur. I… I just can't." He ended in a whisper, and walked out the door before Arthur had even figured out what had happened.


	2. Chapter 2

_a/n: Here's part two. Just more build up really. The more interesting stuff will happen soon. Promise! All previous warnings still apply although not really for this chapter. Thanks for reading!_

Arthur probably should have realized what happened the night that Merlin left. He didn't realize how long he had been staring at the door until he got a phone call from Gaius asking why an extremely upset Merlin had just barged through into his house and ran to his old room without saying a word. Arthur had to try a couple times to get his voice to work before replying that he had no idea what happened.

"Gaius, this isn't Merlin. He's… I don't know. I think he left me. He thinks I've been cheating on him, but I haven't! Honest! I don't know where he would get that from. I don't know what I did." Arthur would have been ashamed at how broken he sounded if he didn't just watch the man he loved walk out of his life, possibly forever.

"Arthur, calm down! I'll talk to him in the morning. I'm sure it's just some sort of phase or something. I'll be back with him tomorrow and we can sit down and talk. You guys can get through this; I know how much you two care about each other."

"I don't know Gaius." He could almost hear the raised eyebrow on the other end of the line. He sighed. "Ok, see you tomorrow."

Arthur didn't go to bed that night. It wasn't like he could sleep anyway, with all his thoughts shoving around in his head fighting for dominance. He sat in Merlin's favorite beat up chair in the living room. He could see the entry way from his perch and just stared at the door, trying to figure out what had happened and, to be honest with himself, waiting for Merlin to come back, to come back and tell him what was wrong. To come back and let everything be alright again.

Arthur didn't get a visit from Gaius and Merlin the next morning, but he did get a phone call. He had finally left his post long enough to make some coffee and get cleaned up. By the time he had gotten out of his shower the red light on his phone was blinking with a message. He played it and poured himself a cuppa. Gaius's voice rang through the air and Arthur felt himself tense.

"Arthur, Merlin refuses to leave his room. But I'll talk to him and call you when he comes out. Keep your head up and don't worry too much. This will turn out fine. You'll see. Don't do anything rash, yeah? Talk to you later."

Gaius didn't call for the rest of the day.

That was the first night Arthur bought alcohol in 3 months. He and Merlin had decided to keep drinks out of the flat since their fateful anniversary where Merlin tried to out himself as a sorcerer to the entire country by writing 'Merlin 3's Arthur' in the sky. In stars. Of course they were both completely pissed and thought it was ridiculously funny at the time. It wasn't so funny the next morning when the papers came out, _and_ they had to deal with killer hangovers, _and_ Uther and Gaius shouting at them, _and _lots of questions coming their way all at the same time. Thankfully, senior Pendragon had connections at News-printers all across the country and contacts in the scientific field that backed his claim that it was just a romantic, albeit distasteful, prank his young son and his lover had played and not some mystical happening. Arthur was immensely thankful both for his father's help and for the fact that the people actually bought it as some sort of rich heir's entertainment. It was the one time _in his life_ that he was kind of relieved he was viewed as some sort of eccentric, playboy rich kid who hadn't quite grown up yet. He would rather he be seen as something less than he was than have Merlin under that kind of scrutiny, the kind that he would never be able to escape from. It was just another testament to how much he loved that kid. No one had ever made him feel that protective before, and something told him no one else ever would.

Arthur didn't hear from Gaius for two more days and when he did, what he heard shot through his alcohol flooded thoughts like a bullet, sobering him up more than any amount of time ever would.

"Arthur, Merlin's gone missing. He just left. I don't know where he went."


End file.
